3D Makes Everything Better

Just saw Avatar the other night and now I wish everything was in 3-D. Actually, at first it made me a little nauseous, reminding me of those days as a child when the last 3-D movie I saw was at a Florida theme park. I never could get used to the feeling of wearing those perforated, red-and-blue-lensed, cardboard glasses. Just never sat right on the bridge of my nose or tucked right behind my ears. Anyway, don’t have to worry about that anymore since now you get real, Elvis Costello-channeling-Lou Reed, rectangular, plastic-framed glasses inclusive with your admission fee of $15.

What fascinated me for nearly the first twenty minutes into the film was how wide these damn glasses are now! It’s like they finally thought to make the glasses widescreen for your widescreen experience. I didn’t have to keep moving my head all over the four corners of the screen to prevent missing something in glorious three-dimensional Technicolor. Speaking of that, what’s up with all the fluorescence in Cameron’s saga? No one in the film mentions anything about the bio-luminescence phenomenon that seems to be taking place on this freaking planet, so are we supposed to not be impressed by it in 2156?

The beauty of the film is that it is entirely reminiscent of a theme park ride. It never lets you down. Everyone knows that Jake Sully is going to redeem himself in the end somehow or another, but yet we still remain enthralled to follow a story that we’ve seen unfold numerous times. The visuals were amazing indeed, but the analogies for what the world is like today were timeworn. Humans = America and Na’vi = the rest of the world. Sully as a character was clearly in need of anything to make him feel like he belonged to something larger them himself. His body had failed him and the only thing he ever knew was the oppression of any individualism he might have had, it was obvious all along that inserting himself into an unknown and unique world was what he’d ultimately need.

Avatar is an awesome, visual and imaginative creation from the mind of James Cameron, maybe destined to win awards on its conceptualism, but it falls short on story and anything deeper than what’s on the other side of those plastic glasses.